The science of having a great conversation
Link: The science of having a great conversation (Wired, via Kevin Wammer)
Interesting article about some of the research behind conversations and forming connections, which are important for mental health, clarity, and creativity. Here are a few reminders and interesting points that stood out to me:
- Be attentive and be a good listener.
- Avoid distractions and put your phones away.
- Ask questions that are relevant to their main point or that give you both the opportunity to express deeper thoughts. Higher self-disclosure is related to faster, stronger connections. This is true with remote and in-person interactions.
- Here are 36 questions for increasing closeness developed by researchers.
- Talking about shared interests or common experiences is generally healthier. When introducing something unfamiliar to the other person, do so gradually and in a way that seeks to fill gaps in their knowledge without being patronizing. (When people's eyes glaze over, it's not because they're disinterested but because they don't have an existing connection to the topic and may not know what questions to ask.)
- Forming or experiencing a shared reality with someone causes a physiological response in our brain and bodies, where our hormonal response attunes and natural opioids are released in the brain. The effect is probably more pronounced in-person, but is shown to some extent in remote interactions where higher mutual self-disclosure happens.